Charlie Brooker, of The Guardian, has some issues with his phone:
My New Mobile Is Lumbered With A Bewildering Array Of Unnecessary Features Aimed At Idiots.
The phone arrived the next day and immediately began elbowing me in the ribs. It seems to have been designed specifically to irritate anyone with a mind. It starts gently – a pinch of annoyance here, an inconvenience there – but before long the steady drip, drip, drip of minor frustrations begins to affect your quality of life, like a mouth ulcer, or a stone in your boot, or the lingering memory of love gone sour.
“The lingering memory of love gone sour.” That’s poetry. Go and Read.